After giving it a lot of thought, I've decided that my old blog style was too much effort on a totally different hosting, so we're going back to old-style.

Reinvention outside of the start or end of a year seems like a....choice

I'm finding myself wanting to downsize my blogging presence. Something about how Ghost is operating nowadays doesn't sit well with me. There's not really a...moral obligation as far as I can tell, but I think mostly what's going on is that high barriers to write (the separate area outside of Neocities, the interface, all the EXTRA BUTTONS) are what stop me dead in my tracks. A long time with ADHD has taught me that the real way to get things done (for me) is to reduce *any* obstacle I can. When I'm told to clean something, I do it right then, not later, no planning for the best free time, NOW.

I can update my SHARES page (the most-updated page on my site) due to the fact that I only have to access Neocities to get there, and in one MEGA burst of productivity, I set up FTP and git on my end, meaning that sometimes I just have to save the new file!

But the blog? That's too much, and I think it's time I admit that.

So this? I'm writing this on a notepad from [LOCATION REDACTED] and that little .txt file will make it's way to my to my home email and eventually onto the new BLOG section of my website.

Maybe if I'm feeling extra silly, I'll upload the .txt to....something, who knows.

And yes, I'm implementing all the HTML codes along the way.

Anyway, here's what I've been up to these days.

I have a job

And I have had a job since the end of March. This isn't too relevant to what I do here, and the job isn't really Computers Based, but I'm happy to be doing it, and it's part of my true passion: information. That's the thing I don't think I communicate often enough: computers, for me, are just a tool and vessel to get me to Information. Be that storing, manipulating, documenting, etc etc etc, that's what I truly care about. I don't code because I love Computers, I code because I Love Information. In all truth, I don't think I'd truly be happy at a job that was focused on coding or development, or really IT at all. That's why, even though I've been tinkering with that sort of thing since I was 9 years old, I didn't pursue it, I got my MLIS, and that's what I like to do.

So anyway, coming back to the job, I can't say much, at all, period. Which doesn't make for a fun update, so instead, I had my little soapbox moment above.

I'm streaming again

Yes! Thanks to some gentle prodding from my partner and others, I've finally gotten past the wall of malaise that has kept from getting back into streaming. I truly missed it, and, as if the universe was somehow signaling me that this was a good idea, I felt energized after my first stream back. I don't have a set schedule at this point, but I am truly hoping for at least once or twice a week to start. Like computing, I don't see this as something to dedicate as my job, I don't have the guts, but I am for sure happy to be back.

Anyway, check out my RADIO page for my stream as well as others I want to highlight

I'm currently running chill games that I like to talk over, and Guild Wars 2, which I have more info about below! I decided to not play FFXIV on stream, or stream the weekly meetups with my friends, because I tried that in the past, and I found that I like having that as a space without an audience. When I was running it, I got the feeling that everyone felt the need to be "on" even though I told them it wasn't necessary. Moreso, I felt myself falling into that trap. So instead, we'll play strange things I find on the internet, alongside my next favorite (non .hack) MMO:

Guild Wars 2 - On A Controller!

The last time my partner and I tried to make Gw2 work on a controller, I gave up. But since then, there's been a lot of development and ideas coming from that community. With the inclusion of Steam, you can now play it really well! This was honestly the last hurdle for me that kept me from playing the game more than once or twice a year, and I'm VERY happy to be playing regularly.

I will state, it's of course not perfect. ArenaNet never really wanted you to play with a controller, so you can't go in expecting what SQEX has put forth with XIV, or even XI. That being said, after the adjustment period, I have found myself playing with the same amount of freedom I did with M+KB, with a much easier time on my hands and wrists. If I had to make a comparison, I'd say it feels more in line with playing Black Desert Online with a controller.

FRAGMENT, PSO

Now that I'm playing two of the "Big Three" of MMOs, I haven't forgotten about my Z-Tier favorites!

Currently I'm playing PSO on a nice private server, and it's bringing me MAJOR memories of back when I had the game on the Gamecube. I didn't own a Dreamcast, nor did I have ANY connection to the internet for my Gamecube (we were on Dialup anyway), but I have fond memories of my sister and I playing "split-screen" and pretending we were playing online. Alongside .hack as a whole, this game really ignited my love of MMO's going forward, for the rest of my life.

In addition to that, I have plans to make my way back to .hack//FRAGMENT. Something I've missed a long time. With my streaming schedule coming back, I'm very interested in playing some more for the world to see! I think, though, what I'm going to need is a full and proper team of people to play with, at least the other two for a "full party". But others in reserve would be nice as well. I have my 99s, but I think maybe introducing a few people who have expressed interest in the game and starting with a fresh character would be pretty cool. Maybe I'll be able to take a solid shot at Wavemaster, or another Heavy Blade.

I've been reading the blogs of Monks and Nuns

So, sometimes people deal with their harsh religious upbringing by being extra religious. Sometimes, they become a Reddit Atheist. Sometimes, it becomes a fetish.

But for me?

I ended up becoming obsessed with cloistered life.

For those that don't know, Cloistered Life is the general term for Nuns and Monks who have chosen to live basically locked away from the rest of the world, in their smaller, insular communities (those still exist!). I can't tell you why I have such an interest and obsession with this, because honestly, it's not something I parade around. Even more perplexingly, I am one of the last people who would ever want anything to do with Christianity. I am hyper-leftist, gay, and deeply affected by what religion has done to me (against me) growing up. I stand for nothing that these religious orders do.

And yet, I can't stop reading their damn blogs.

This is twofold, honestly. Because while I have always held an interest in cloistered life, to the point that when I was younger (and still deeply trapped in religion) I had honestly considered that my life calling, I work in a place that blocks most internet websites. Strangely enough, though, these (sometimes) poorly maintained blogs by less-than computer literate nuns are allowed through the cracks, and that has provided me a lot of extra reading material. I almost view it like some sort of reality chronicle. For groups that choose to be so closed-off, they tell many stories about their lives inside. Going through the archives of one blog in particular, I got to watch someone go from being an Aspirant, to Postulant, to Novice, and up to Junior Professed not two months before the writing of this post. That's six to seven years!

If I were to dig a little deeper (and if you've read my previous blogs, that's what I do), I think something that attracts me to this is the sense of community. A healthy dose of coping with my own religious history is there, for sure, but I am the kind of person who has more than once suggested that my group of friends set up some sort of communal living structure not to different from what's going on in these monasteries. This is, of course, without the seclusion or removal from public life, but seriously, if I had the funds and means to somehow house those close to me, allowing each of us to pursue our interests and work? I'd be making that happen in a heartbeat. I could fully fantasize on that another time, but I feel like that should be a whole blog post on it's own.

Well?

I'm struggling to come up with more, which I think means that this is a good stopping point. Looking at it, this was the easiest write-up I've done in a while, even if it's simply an update. I'm hoping this leads to better things, but if you got this far, I hope you check back in.