Okay, I've got some downtime

We've been down all week

Okay, I was inspired to write this as my job as [READCTED] has been disrupted all week due to a very big issue that basically reduces me to turning people away all day. Luckily, that only takes a few minutes, but what am I going to do with the other 7 hours and 55 minutes in my day?

Write this damn blog post, of course

So, Dev, how've ya been?

Well, recipient of this email, thanks for asking. I've been doing alright, all considered. My income isn't lavish, but I'm making it now, and while pay-periods like this one are hell to deal with, there's always something coming, even if I have to struggle a bit to it, it's much better than the uncertainty that unemployment was so gracious to give to me on a near minute-to-minute basis.
It's odd, because while I still experience financial anxiety and worries about stability and the future, I'm nowhere near the level I was when I didn't have a job. I'm nervous, but not spending nights silently crying while staring at the ceiling, hoping not to wake up and worry my partner or basically living one giant 1.5-year-long panic attack.
Weirdly enough, that's been...comforting. Like, it still sucks, it's still poverty, but it feels more like when I've been weightlifting, and I take off, say, 5 pounds. I'm still lifting 305, but that 5 off from 310 makes it...a relief. Or I guess, another way to put it, I was being poked by 400 needles, but now it's 200. I'd ideally like to be poked by no needles, but there's something in the reduction of stressors.

Speaking of jobs....

I applied and interviewed for a job about 8 before this post. At the interview, I was told that the timeline for hire would be very quick. I haven't heard from them since then, last week, so I'm just going to assume I didn't get it. One might assume that a turnaround that fast would also mean that they'd tell me if I didn't get the job, but I honestly don't have that level of faith in anyone who hires nowadays.
It's odd, because I know this pessimism has come from a few places, but specifically it was a job that I interviewed for before getting my current position. The interview was amazing, and it fully sounded like they were going to hire me, and then? Nothing. Actually, worse than nothing: a bunch of "we'll get back to you"'s. And fuck me, I held on hope, and that hope was crashed when they finally just....said no. I don't want to have that hope again, and even though I would have really liked this job. I'm taking the safe route for my mentality that I didn't get it. Overall, it's fine, because I don't hate my current job as a whole. Honestly my only main issues are that I have to commute an unreasonable amount and I can't have outside technology access. But I'm still looking for something better, to live and support those around me, and this would've been great for that. It just...I guess disheartening when it reaches the stage of an interview, because that makes the consideration feel real. I've been rejected or ghosted plenty, but every time it's an interview, it feels more personal.

Fighting games

I'm back on my Fighting Game Bullshit.
I've been wanting to get back into streaming, and while I have had a lot of fun with other genre's I love, something about FGs just... clicked. It def helps that there are those around me that also share this passion, and are willing to repeatedly fight me, but there's just something that makes me so happy every time I pick up the games and play. I think a part of it is the honestly low barrier of entry. I get distracted easily, and on top of that, I have a major problem starting up a project, even for something I love. FGs can just be turned on, and boom you're in a match, or training, or doing whatever. It's also been super easy to stream which has allowed these two projects of mine to fit together nicely: keeping up my streams, and keeping my FG training.
My partner and I have made a goal together: next year, we're going to EVO. It's been forever since we've been any convention, and on top of that, we both want to compete. For them, it's looking like they'll be playing mainly BlazeBlue Central Fiction, and while I'm going to be playing that as well, I'm probably going to be doing that alongside Undernight In-Birth 2. The group of us (those friends keeping me motivated) are nicely split between those two games, so while I'm for sure dabbling in others (because I just love em!!) those are going to be the main subjects of my training.
Honestly? Expect me to theorycraft and talk more about it in later posts. This is one of those things I have a lot to talk about, but honestly, haven't been really in a space to do so. I'm excited.

Actually, I wanna keep talking more about Fighting Games

I finally pulled my old fightstick out of storage. It's a Razer Panthera EVO from 2018, but it still functions nicely. I've been using just a gamepad while it was away, but now that I'm committed to sticking with my training, I want to use that. I'm half considering a stickless (think Hitbox) setup, but that's going to need some money. I don't have one near me to test, so I'm considering getting a decent one off of the internet, and if it's really good, looking at future upgrades.

Okay, that's honestly it for now. Hopefully I'll see you all around, you know where to find me